New tumblr blog coming soon…. until then, adios, lovers.
When your treatment team tells you it's not about...
This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up...– Marilyn Monroe
COUNTRY GIRLS !!– Cheat on Kellie Pickler, you’ll get hit by a bus. Cheat on Carrie Underwood, she’ll beat up your car. Cheat on Miranda Lambert, she will marry your best man. Cheat on Taylor Swift, she will put hints in the lyrics who you are and ruin your house. Dude, DONT CHEAT ON US COUNTRY GIRLS!!! p.s. our...
I can’t do college anymore. This isn’t for me. I am not a cookie cutter mold of a human being to fit your societal standards. And now, I’m out to find what is best for me. Suck it, society.
A Question To Be Answered/Blogged About Soon:
(taken from Danielle LaPorte’s “Burning Questions” Series) This is a big topic. Western self-help spirituality is great at getting us to identify our patterns and ‘isms’. After enough how-to books, workshops and therapy we can honorably say, “I’m neurotic because of my mother,” or “I’m a selfish because I didn’t get enough attention as a kid.” But identifying the source of your...
Holy shit. I was honest with my mom about what’s really going on with ED for the first time in 7 years. I’ve NEVER cried about my stuff concerning that, but having to tell her… that was rough. Thank God I can go Halloween party it up and have a distraction.
Food Fear.[[MORE]]I have no safe foods. I don’t even mean I’m not stocked up on any. I mean, no food has seemed safe at all the past 3 to 4 weeks. I have such wonderful, healthy food in my pantry and fridge. Le sigh. 3 day fast - binge - 3 day fast - binge - 3 day fast - binge - and it continues. This is getting so old. It only upsets me when I think about it. Other than that,...
Day 1 - Eating Disorder Recovery Challenge:
Day one is said on here to just be height and weight. However, stats are just a number, and I’ve spent enough time looking at those recently, so I put days 1 & 2 together :) ______________________________________________________________ Height: 64 inches Weight: 11X pounds/ 19 bmi eating disorder diagnosis: Bulimia (2004 - 2011); Anorexia Binge Purge Type (re diagnosed this fall...
Euphoria: Odolnost's 30 day eating disorder... →
odolnost: If you find a question to be too personal, then simply skip the day! If you want me to see your posts during this, simply tag them as ‘odolnost’ ! You can start the challenge anytime! Days: 1. List your stats (height/weight). What eating disorder are/have you struggled with? 2. What does recovery mean to YOU? 3. List 10 NON physical things you like about yourself. 4. What are...
I just need answers. Why must life be so complicated?
I want to know what you’re thinking. If I could just have a glimpse into your thoughts, your feelings. You’re so boarded up right now. You act like everything is spinning out of control, but then when I get there, you can’t seem to talk no matter how many times I ask. Instead, you ask about me and make me talk. Maybe it’s the distraction you want. I know you care, but I...
My parents have changed so much as I've grown up,...
I hate that I’m stuggling so hard lately. I have been throwing my hands in the air. I have refused to fight. I’ve dug myself in such a deep hole. My parents know much more than I like to admit often about what I am doing, struggling with, and the like. My parents love me through everything. They are proud of me even through the struggles, and for the life of me, I cannot understand...
When you don't even understand why weight is so...
Scars you refuse to hide can become lighthouses that warn other people who are...– Jon Acuff (via chaispice)
[[MORE]]60 hours. so hungry. and i just. can’t. whyyyyyyyyyyy :(
It’s been a hell of a week. Time to par-tayyy.
really, don’t read. i’m just venting. [[MORE]]I thought it has only been 2 days. I hadn’t eaten in 3. I should have kept better track. I would have known how to suppress my hunger or known how to eat in a way that wouldn’t lead to a binge. Like eating some dry lettuce with some hot tea or diet soda (even though I hate how diet soda makes me feel). But no, I had to eat...
I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. ...– Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar (via ganeagla)
Friends trying to get you to eat
thedisorderedlife: I swear I’m going to stop blogging so much about E.D….. This is just so relevant, and humor is a coping skill (:
First, I felt euphoric. Then, I got scared. Then, everything was okay again. I don’t need food. Now, I’m just a thin but healthy looking body who feels like a zombie. I’m fading fast, am out of any control or fight, and yet I don’t feel anything. I literally feel nothing. I’m merely existing. I am peacefully drowning.
Irony: The thing you got a euphoric sense of control from is now controlling you. I literally can’t fight, and I don’t know why.
Dear authors and decision makers of societal...
Life is precious. Life is beautiful. It is a gift that I daily take for granted. Oh, I am so sorry. My lack of appreciation for life is a flaw I have? I should feel ashamed? You mean to tell me that you are NOT the force which robs me of the gratitude I should have? Silly me. See, you have taught me so much. You have taught me what is important while the truly important things seem to be only...