Well, I just found something to wear for a few basketball games this season (:
Luck be a lady in lace - and you’ve come to the right place if you noticed the rising trend of gorgeous lacy accents on the runways and are ready to weave it into your Fall wardrobe. Erdem showed us how this classic material is always ripe for a refresh by layering Chantilly inserts and appliques with bright hues-creating looks that are at the same time flirty, feminine and edgy. Mixing tradition with creative innovation is what modern style is all about…now add a dash of DIY with this Lace Embellished skirt we whipped up with our friends at Who What Wear!
To create, use a solid black skirt as your canvas. Choose 3 different shades of lace or lace trim. We used about 1/2 a yard of the black lace and yellow lace and 1 yard of the white lace trim. Cut out lace pieces from each color and layer creating a pattern on the skirt. Use pins to hold lace pieces in place as you arrange. Once satisfied with your layout begin to sew each lace cluster to the skirt.
Halloween ‘12: Porcelain Doll.
Before Pictures - Balliceaux Halloween Party: No BS! Brass Band.
Really, I ended up just looking like I hopped out of a 70’s Mod dance party while I was there. So I guess either way, I still kind of had a costume haha.
Really, I just wanted to do my makeup like Barbie… ;)
Holy shit. I was honest with my mom about what’s really going on with ED for the first time in 7 years. I’ve NEVER cried about my stuff concerning that, but having to tell her… that was rough.
Thank God I can go Halloween party it up and have a distraction.
Day one is said on here to just be height and weight.
However, stats are just a number, and I’ve spent enough time looking at those recently, so I put days 1 & 2 together :)
______________________________________________________________
Height: 64 inches
Weight: 11X pounds/ 19 bmi
eating disorder diagnosis: Bulimia (2004 - 2011); Anorexia Binge Purge Type (re diagnosed this fall semester)
Recovery means getting through a semester of college without feeling like I’m drowning hopelessly halfway through.
It means being able to be honest with myself and the people who love me. Recovery means looking at food as something which fuels my body so that I can fuel my passions - not as something I use to control when I feel I have nothing to hang on to.
Recovery means being able to be in love with myself, being able to fall in love - and to not be in the crazy relationship cycle I’ve been in since February.
Recovery means finally being able to live my life for me: getting better for me, following my heart after things that ignite passion within my own self…accepting myself with all its flaws and imperfections as lovably, and perfectly imperfect.
It means being able to accomplish my goals - to be a responsible, loving, caring, and successful person who will not only make the people who love her proud - but be proud of myself for the first time in my life. I want to fight (and win) so that I can show this stupid disease that nobody messes with a daughter of a G****s. I am both my mother’s and my father’s daughters.
We’re fighters, not victims.
Recovery is my chance to live a REAL life.
If you find a question to be too personal, then simply skip the day! If you want me to see your posts during this, simply tag them as ‘odolnost’ ! You can start the challenge anytime!
Days:
1. List your stats (height/weight). What eating disorder are/have you struggled with?
2. What does recovery mean to YOU?
3. List 10 NON physical things you like about yourself.
4. What are factors that contributed in your choice to recover?
5. What actions do you believe could be taken in the future to help prevent your child(ren) or close friends from ever developing an eating disorder?
6. What was your favorite meal before your ED? What is your favorite meal now?
7. Do you think the media contributes to the growing rate of girls developing eating disorders younger and younger?
8. Create a list of all the positive things your eating disorder has given you. (This day should be short haha.)
9. Create a list of all the negative things your eating disorder has given you.
10. Does anyone in your close family have an eating disorder? If so, do you think it had an impact on you developing one?
11. List 10 PHYSICAL features you like about yourself.
12. Post a picture of 1 thing you ate today.
13. Do you believe you can ever fully recover from an eating disorder? Explain.
14. How do your friends and family feel about your eating disorder?
15. Post a picture of you before you ever developed an eating disorder. What emotions were you feeling in this picture? Describe your picture.
16. How would you help a close friend or family member if they developed an eating disorder?
17. What does being fat TRULY mean to you?
18. Here’s a challenge. Come up with a hobby you’ve never done or haven’t done in awhile that has NOTHING to do with eating or exercising or cooking. Totally non eating disorder related. What is your hobby? Why did you chose it?
19. Has your eating disorder ever held you back from something? If so, explain.
20. I feel eating disorders have somehow been glamorized. Explain your opinion on this.
21. Who has been the biggest contributor of your recovery in your life? Explain.
22. Describe your goals for your future.
23. List 2 positive things that happened to you today.
24. Where were you in terms of your eating disorder 6 months ago? Describe how you’ve changed.
25. What are your ‘fear foods’? I CHALLENGE you to eat one today. Dare you. Do it.
26. Eating disorders often come hand in hand with social anxiety and or depression. Start 1 conversation today with someone you don’t normally speak to. How did it go?
27. Create a letter of everything you would write to your eating disorder as if it were a real life person.
28. What do you need to improve on in order to advance mentally and or physically towards recovery? Explain how you plan on actually moving forward with these goals!
29. Challenge yourself again in some way today. Whether it be being more social, eating more, eating another fear food, etc. Explain.
30. List your stats again. Did this help you at all?
I want to know what you’re thinking.
If I could just have a glimpse into your thoughts, your feelings.
You’re so boarded up right now.
You act like everything is spinning out of control, but then when I get there, you can’t seem to talk no matter how many times I ask.
Instead, you ask about me and make me talk. Maybe it’s the distraction you want. I know you care, but I need more information than this right now.
It’s almost 4:30 in the morning. I’m sorry I had to leave. I’m sorry I woke you up to tell you, but I didn’t want to just leave and worry you first thing when you wake up that I disappeared off somewhere.
I just don’t know what to do right now. I don’t know what you want or what you need because you don’t tell me. You don’t have to say everything.
At this point, you definitely know that I care. You know I will always be there for you regardless of what goes on.
But please… don’t keep me in this crazy cycle.
Please care about me enough to let me into your thoughts just a little bit.
I need to know what to do.
and these are your friends who have been there from the start
I hate that I’m stuggling so hard lately. I have been throwing my hands in the air. I have refused to fight. I’ve dug myself in such a deep hole.
My parents know much more than I like to admit often about what I am doing, struggling with, and the like. My parents love me through everything. They are proud of me even through the struggles, and for the life of me, I cannot understand it.
I sent my daddy this super long text message a bit ago, :
” I love you so much, daddy. I am so thankful that I have God fearing parents to direct me where I should go, and also have the patience to deal with me ;)
thank you for how hard you work to provide me with moer than I deserve. I hope that I will keep growing up to be a strong, godly woman who is a reflection of Jesus first and foremost, but also a reflection of what you and mommy have taught me… a strong, responsible, God-fearing woman in all aspects of life: work life, maybe on day - married and family life… and I hope I will make you and mommy proud with big smiles”.
It really is what I hope. I feel like I am none of those things right now.
Promptly, however, I got this short, sweet reply with a little hurricane warning:
”I love you and I am proud of you. Stay dry.”
…and now I’m crying. I am so not worth anything. I am throwing everything away in my life lately while I run and hide. My struggles have been taking over making me feel like I can’t breathe. They don’t know everything, but they know enough. And they still love me. Not even that, he says he’s proud of me.
What is there about me to be proud of?
I don’t even know….
It’s like I’m crying half happy tears that I am so loved, and yet, I’m also crying because what I’m doing right now, the fight I’m trying to fight, hurts them so badly.
So many emotions….oh my gosh.
